Why Condoms Suck
Bonedog - No. 21

"I go home and jerk off in favor of fucking with a rubber" - Lord Garth

Read this article or click here to see the reasons.

I believe that abstinence only is the best education for children. Not because it is the only 100% way to avoid STDs. Not because I think it's a good idea to wait to have sex until you're married, because it's probably not. The reason why abstinence is best and only method for sex education is because condoms suck. They really suck. Sex with a condom is such a bad experience that many men would rather just receive oral sex. It seems that condoms completely ruin sex.

The abstinence only approach may seem an extreme method just to avoid condom use, but it is the only way to have potentially child producing sex at a appropriate time. Most normal young people don't want rugrats at an early age because of financial and recreational restrictions associated with children.

Who wants to have little non-dense magi running
around when you are trying to get somewhere in life?

Unfortunately birth control is at best 98% effective. Which, if one fucks women at a respectable rate, is unacceptable. It would mean if you regularly had sex with your girlfriend for a year when she was on birth control you would have 4.6 statistical children. That's simply not acceptable. Also ingesting hormones is never completely safe. The only answer is abstinence.

I lied. Abstinence is the only answer to pre-marital fucking. There are many alternatives to pre-martial potentially child producing sex. There is fellatio or if you're a cheap Thai hooker, "SUCKI SUCKI! FIVE DOLLAR FIVE DOLLAR! ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! This is a 100% non-fertile alternative to sex. Other alternatives include hand jobs, titty fucks, and sticking it in the pooper (of course some people consider these all sex).

If you are not ready for children, masturbate faggot.

The bottom line here is that condoms suck, as they transform sex from something awesome into something fun. Some would say that you could get a STD if you don't use a condom, you could also get a STD easily if you are a dumb ass. By doing a simple pre-game inspection of the pu-tang (ie: red bumps, puss filled sores, slimeshity, tiny little shits crawling around, bad smell) you can avoid the post-game penis neurosis after you hit it.

If youd don't use condoms, place hand above.

Having to put on a condom is someone telling you to read the instruction book. It's fucking annoying and can completely ruin the mood and excitement. Wearing socks in the shower doesn't make much sense, neither does fucking a fly honey with a ballon on your dick.

WHY CONDOMS SUCK:

- Increased Awkwardness.
I love rummaging around in the dark for a condom. Also losing my boner as I spend five minuets trying to open the fucking slippery wrapper is fun as well.

- Decreased lubrication.
If I had a dollar every-time a girl got dry from inserting a large latex covered object into her vagina via my cock I would have more than 20 bucks.

- Feels shitty
It's like driving a sportscar as your first car, and then suddenly you have a 1989 Toyota Corolla. You'll probably get where you're going, but don't expect to have your mind blown.

- Embarrassing
It can be bewildering for young men to buy condoms in a connivence store.

-Smell
Your penis will smell like a ballon afterwards.

-Expensive
Condoms are fucking expensive. (BLAH BLAH children are more expensive, Abstinence only cunt!)

-Dissatisfied
Watching the girl you just nutted it complain of your semen leaking out of her can be hilarious.

Condoms being put to good use

While I am on the topic of sex I would also like to say that I have never been a big fan of lubricant either, because lube has been pointless in my sexual career thus far. The women I've shagged have gotten wet enough themselves that there was no need for lube. I am convinced lube is for lesbian girls armed with gargantuan 17 inch double-ended dildos and homosexuals who need it to buttfuck themselves. Lube has no place in the hetrosexual man's sexlife.