Penile Anthropometry
Bonedog - No. 11

There are some things that are of great importance in life, such as eventually earning enough money to support yourself, reproducing and living a happy life; penis size does not happen to be one of these things. The internet and late night television are littered with cheap advertisements flaunting herbal supplements that supposedly will make your kock grow like a Chia pet in a rain forrest. Based on the shear volume of of these ridicules phallus advertisements there has to be many insecure men that are concerned about their kock. Men put too much emphasis on penis size and not enough on penis use. After all what good is a elephant gun if you don't know how to take off the safety?

Companies play on this fear of inadequate kock size. Extenze is a North American based company that is notorious for scamming unfortunate souls who are insecure and naive enough to order their product. Once customers make an order for penis enlargement pills, Extenze will continue to send more pills then you ordered and bill you for the addition pills. The company banks on a lot of unhappy customers not complaining because of the embarrassing nature of the product. The following is an excerpt from a buyer beware website:

"I, like many of you, saw the Extenze comercials and thought 'Gee, I wish my 2 inch penis was bigger, then maybe the ladies will like me even though i am horribly obese at 400 pounds.' So I ordered them off their website. I started taking them and 2 days later I noticed the first results. After 2 days of use, I woke up one morning and measured my penis length like always. I was shocked to see how big it had grown (13 inches)! Then i realised i was using the cm side of the ruler."

I really wish the people who buy these kind of products would worry more about their brain size than their penis size. Honestly. I would take the junker Oldsmobile sedan that will get your from point A to B every time, then a sexy sexy looking red Ferrari that breaks down every three miles and has trouble passing inspection due to aesthetic modifications.

Cool Fact #1: Most men have a penis that is smaller than average (the mean penis size is greater than the median penis size).

I never said penis size didn't matter at all though. If your penis is less than four inches when fully erect then it's possile you could have some problems in the bedroom that require creative solutions. On the other side of the scale, if ones penis is greater than 8 inches it may be more difficult to find a respectable meat respectacle to stick it in, as most girls don't enjoy having their cervix fucked.

"Had sex with this girl who said she liked it to be "romantic". We had lots of foreplay and I went down on her and then when I pull out my PENIS she freaks out and says, "I'm so intimidated right now". And she is holding it and says I am big. I am not that huge though but longer than average and so I put the condom on and she nearly faints and says it looks so tight, and it was a magnum XL. So since she seems nervous I let her get on top so she can put it in at her own pace and I get in about 2 inches and it was way tight and she is whining the entire time. Then I flex myself while inside of her and she screams and jumps off and says, "I just dont think we have the right chemistry sexually" and "You are too aggressive". I guess putting it in is aggressive."

TSN presents an innovative new way to test your Penis Size.

Contrary to contemporary porn stereotypes, the girls who look for "huge kock" are almost always either extremely tall or HIV infested cubbies with low self-esteem. These "liberated" hoes have been treated like shit their whole life and are constantly trying to reclaim some self respect for themselves by pretending they have the power of sexual preference over males.

Cool Fact #2: Humans have the largest penis relative to body size out of all the Apes.

Perhaps Arnold Schwarzenegger put it best when he was telling a reporter about a gang bang he had partaken in when he was young,

"The California Republican added that not every muscleman participated in the gang bang, 'just the guys who can fuck in front of other guys. Not everybody can do that. Some think that they don't have a big-enough cock, so they can't get a hard-on'".

There you have it. Kock size adequacy does not yield happiness but rather from happiness comes Cock size adequacy and the confidence associated with it. By the time most guys get to pull out their kocks in the bedroom to fuck, the girl has already committed to sex regardless of the make and model of the manpipe. The truth of the matter is that penis enlargement is a synonym for ego enlargement. Men with poor self confidence will always have a small noodle and real men will always have a massive meat stick, regardless of physical size.

Cool Fact #3: Length doesn't matter according to
most women sexual surveys, it's all about girth.

Another mental trap I commonly see grown men fall into is, what I call, the Penis Flytrap. Some men in this country have become so pussy whipped it is disgusting to even think about. Men have become too afraid to grow beards, shave their arms daily in the shower and even go tanning in order to cater to the female population.

For many Eunuch-type menthe submission doesn't end there. It has recently came to my attention that some guys actually care if a hoe has an orgasm when their fucking her. By hoe I'm not referring to a girlfriend or a close friend with benefits, I mean a random hoe that a dude just met at a party. I have even heard horror stories about men eating out girls they have just gotten to know and then getting Herpes all over their face. WTF!

"Why the fuck would anyone care that much about cock size? Its not like your going to be performing infront of a room full of people. Its just you and your girl. As long as you can use your fingers, it doesnt matter if you cum quickly either."

When you have sex with a random girl you should only be concerned with your own getting off. If a girl can't get off, that isn't you fault; you are not her personal orgasm chaperone. Take as long as you want, bust a nut, roll over and go to sleep. Women for the most part are dirty SKANKS, that's why they go out Friday nights giving out blow jobs like Evangelicals hand out Jesus pamphlets. Men have something more. Something called self-respect, dignity and honor. You are...after all...what you eat.