Famous Feminists | Triple Star News

	While real men are busy doing pregmatic work such as building skyscrapers and running large scale corporations, most women are back at home idling around (though some are busy cooking up delicous meals in the kitchen). This idle time has spawned a new and exciting way of thinking...feminism! The concept of feminism is simple: Women should get paid more money for working less and being less qualified. Unlike communism which was kinda successful and other somewhat successful "isms", feminism has yet to catch on in the United States. Apparently we are on the "Thrid Wave" of this cold diarrhetic concept, but like sound waves of a cricket chirpping bouncing off a concrete wall, no one seems to hear or more importantly care. In reality Feminazis fall into three categories, woman that are too obese/ugly/lesbian to get married, "rape" victims and whores that are unable to achieve orgasm and are jealous of phalluses. The following are some of the most "prominent feminists that I had to search for hours to find.
			Jessica Valenti – Also known as the corpse hoarder, Jessica was kicked out of the house by her husband in 2002 for her poor baking and sandwich making skills. Graduating from Rutgers University she majored in Women’s and Gender Studies and Infanticide, the former being a pragmatically useless major. Jessica soon took up writing and has tried unsuccessfully to unite all baby killers under one Nazi flag (this is how she got her nickname the corpse hoarder). Jessica continuous to fail at life and cries herself asleep naked in the fetal position every night. She is also responsible for instigating a dong war.

Vanessa Valenti – Looking much sexier and having much bigger breasts than her older sister, Vanessa is obviously less involved with the whole Femminist “Movement”. Albeit the occasional beating, Vanessa knows who the boss is in her relationship with her husband so she is enjoying a great marriage with her Husband Jeff Banks. She even denied the Corpse Hoarder’s annual invitation to feat of the blood of unborn fetuses. Good job Vanessa! Wanda Sykes – Her husband, David Hall, left Wanda in 1998 presumably because gaining weight at unbelievably fast rate. The divorce left her in a traumatized state that she would be unable to recover from for the rest of her life. To put her failed relationship out of mind, Wanks joined John Edward’s Liberal Cunt Circus becoming a really lame comedian. Getting tried of paying for crack-cocaine she has recently announced that she “Doesn’t clean carpet, she eats it” for added publicity.
		Hilarly Clinton – Most of you probably know Hilarly from her failed run in the 2008 Presidential Race and from the huge politcal scandal involving her husband, Bill Clinton. The scandal, for which she is renowned for, involved chopping off her husband's dick and sewing it onto herself. She then went on a rape frenzy, raping Republican politicians all over the continental United States, leading to the election of a liberal fasciet being elected in 2008. Hilarly also has had trouble with her weight. In 2004 she was 175 pounds at 5'5½" after losing 20 lbs, giving her a BMI of 29.1, or technically, "obese nazi whore".
Jennifer Baumgardner – Being butt raped is never easy, but being Butt raped at the tender age of seven by a herd of uncircumcised water buffalo after being dropped my from your parent’s Land Rover in South Africa is a tramatic event that is virtually impossible to recover from. Jennifer is able to cope with this past trama by having abortions. She has had three to date filling in the time between pregnancies with manly activities such as mowing the grass, grilling burgers and lifting weights. Jennifer, who views killing unborn children as a “fun pastime, not addiction”, has recently designed a Tee-shirt that youthful baby killing teenagers can wear proudly in public to brag about how many children they have killed. Unlike cooler Tee-shirts, sales for her satan crafted T-shirts have yet to really take off.