Why did god give woman legs?
           -So they could walk from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Why don’t woman wear watches?
             -Because there is a clock on the microwave.

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
           -Call her.

Why do woman fake orgasms?
            -Because they think men care.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
           -Pregnant.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
            -Because she was a woman.

Why is a woman like a dog turd?
           -The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.

What's the most active muscle in a woman?
            -The penis.

Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
           -It doesn't need cleaning yet.

Why did God invent the yeast infection?
            -So women know what it feels like to live with an annoying cunt

If a tree falls on a women and no one was around to hear it what the fuck was a forest doing in the kitchen?

What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic?
            -The god damned dishes if she knows what's good for her.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
            -Oral sex makes her day.  Anal sex makes her whole weak.

Why does the bride always wear white?
            -Because it’s good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
           -Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
           -Made her chain too long.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
            -A man to show her how to work it

How are tornadoes and marriage alike?
           -They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you
            lose your house.

What's the difference between your wife and your job?
            -After 10 years the job still sucks.

What is the useless skin on the outside of the vagina called?
            -The woman

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
            -When you take it off, you wonder where her tits went.

How is a woman like a condom?
           -Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Woman's Rights

Why are women like screen doors?
           -Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.

What's the worst part of getting a sex change from male to female?
            -When they take out the brain.

What's the difference between your wife and your dog?
           -Walking the dog is relaxing.

A man is driving when he is pulled over by a cop who says, "Are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about two minutes ago"?
            - The man lets out a sigh, "Thank god for that, I thought I had gone deaf!"

~Know of a good joke we don't have up? Email me (bonedog@triplestarnews.com) and I'll put it up if I laugh.~